یکشنبه، بهمن ۰۹، ۱۳۹۰

مصاحبه انتخاباتی/ جواب‌های دندان‌شکن من به آمارگیر صدا و سیما

- در میدون معروفی با دوستم قرار داشتم. طبق معمول دیر کرده بود. من خسته و بی‌حوصله به دختر مقنعه‌ای-چادری‌یی نگاه‌‌ می‌کردم که فرم‌هایی در دست داشت و هر چند دقیقه‌ آدمی رو از بین جمعیت سوا می‌کرد و باهاش مصاحبه می‌کرد و روی صفحه‌ای علامت می‌گذاشت و چیزهایی می‌نوشت. جالب اینجا بود که با تموم سختی پیدا کردن افرادی برای مصاحبه و با اینکه چندبار نگاهش به من افتاد اما از من تقاضای مصاحبه نمی‌کرد. با دقت بیشتر، متوجه شدم فقط از آقایون ریشو و زنان چادری یا مانتو مقنعه‌ای رو از بین جمعیت انتخاب می کنه. یک ربع بیست‌دقیقه بعد دیدم بیکاره و باز تا نگاهش به من افتاد نگاهشو فوری دزدید و روشو کرد اونور. گفتم: چیه؟ من نمی‌تونم به سوالاتون جواب بدم؟ با اکراه کمی اومد جلو و با تردید گفت باشه. از طرف صدا و سیما برای انتخابات آمار می‌گیریم. با لبخندی پیروزمندانه گفتم اشکالی نداره! بپرسید.(انگار کارمند صدا و سیما جرمی مرتکب شده و من با بزرگواری می‌گم اشکالی نداره)
تأخر و تقدم سوالها دقیقا یادم نیست. اما اینها رو پرسید:
- می‌دونید چه انتخاباتی در پیشه؟
- بله، انتخابات مجلس.
- فکر می‌کنید چند درصد مردم شرکت کنند؟
- بین 20 تا 30!
با نگاه شماتت‌باری پرسید چرا اینقدر کم؟
- شما بقیه سوالاتونو بپرسید لطفا.
- خوب اینم سواله دیگه،( من کله کشیدم، او ورق را از من قایم کرد) آخه هیچکی به کمی شما نگفت.
- خوب من نظرمو گفتم.
- دلیلش؟
- یه دلیلش انتخابات ریاست جمهوری سال 88ه.
- یعنی چطور؟
من با خنده: شما فکر کنید موسوی مثلا چند رأی داشت؟
- وا... چه ربطی داره؟
- الان می‌گم، شما فکر کن مثلا 13 میلیون رأی، رای کروبی و رضایی (تندتند یه چیزهایی می‌نوشت) چند تا؟ بگیریم به قول شما 5 میلیون. خود به خود 18 میلیون از رای دهنده‌ها می‌رن کنار؟
- برای چی برن کنار؟ یعنی فکر می‌کنید اصلاح‌طلبا نمی‌رن رای بدن؟
- لابد انتظار دارید با چیزهایی که پیش اومد و کشت و کشتارها و زندانی شدن رهبراشون موسوی و کروبی برن رأی برن؟
طفلک رنگ و روش پرید. اما پرسید: یعنی در حصر بودن آقای موسوی هم در رأی ندادن موثره؟
- نه پس موثر نیست!
فقط همین؟
- نخیر، شما فرض کن، خیلی‌ها می‌خوان رأی بدن و اصلا هم از کشت‌و کشتارها و تجاوزات و زندانی‌کردن‌ها ناراحت نیستن، اما کاندیدای مورد علاقه‌شون رد صلاحیت شده.
- پس بنویسم، به علت رد صلاحیت کاندیدای مورد علاقه!
- اینم بنویس لطفا: نارضایتی از وضع مملکت، گرونی‌ها، قیمت دلار و طلا، بیکاری و...
خودش حرفمو برید: آیا به اخبار صدا و سیما گوش می‌دید؟
- نه، وقتشو ندارم.
- وقتشو ندارید یا...
- اعتماد هم ندارم. کی تاحالا حرف راست شنیدیم ازشون؟
- آیا رسانه‌های خارجی مثل بی‌بی‌سی و وی‌اُ اِی در رأی ندادن مردم مؤثرن؟
- بله که مؤثرن.
- چرا؟
من با خنده- پرسیدن نداره؟ چون مردم ایران هر شب پای اخبار همین رسانه‌هان!
- من یه سری اسم می‌گم شما بگو کدوم از اینا برای رأی دادن یا ندادن رو مردم، دانشجوها تأثیر می‌ذارن: رسانه‌های داخلی، خارجی، روزنامه‌ها، روحانیون، هم‌کارها، استاد دانشگاه، هم‌کلاسی‌ها، مسجد، همسایه، مردم کوچه و بازار و...
- همه‌شون!
- مگه می‌شه همه‌شون؟
- بله، شما مثلا دختر همسایه‌تونو تو تظاهرات 88 گرفتنش و میاد تعریف می‌کنه تو زندان چی بر سرش گذشته، تو تاکسی می‌شنوید یکی از فامیلش می‌گه که از فقر کلیه‌شو فروخته، تو روزنامه می‌خونیم که دزدی و جنایت چند برابر قبل ازانقلابه، همکار تعریف می‌کنه دخترش دانشگاه قبول شده اما پول نداشته و نذاشته بره دانشگاه، روحانی تو مسجد محل تعریف می‌کنه که قناعت کنید اما پسر خودش ماشین صد یا دویست میلیونی سواره، استاد دانشگاه هم که وظیفه‌شه روشنگری کنه و همکلاسی‌ها هم که خودتون می‌دونید چیا می‌گن...
حرفمو قطع کرد... خوب ، خوب متوجه شدم...(یواش یواش داشت عصبانی می‌شد)
- شما چقدر به سلامت انتخابات باور دارید؟ خیلی زیاد، زیاد، کم، خیلی کم،
- خیلی کم!
- آیا فکر می‌کنید در انتخابات آتی تقلبی از طرف یکی از جناحها صورت خواهد گرفت.
- بله، مسلما.
- فکر می‌کنید کدوم گروه بیشترین رأی رو برای نمایندگی بیارن؟ اصولگرا، اصلاح‌طلب یا هر گروهی که خودتون اسم ببرید.
- خوب معلومه اصولگراها از توی صندوق بیرون میان!
- سوال آخر، شما می‌رید رأی بدید؟
- جوابشو خودت بهتر می‌دونی...
- همین دیگه، برای همین نمی‌خواستم باهات مصاحبه کنم. از همون اولش فهمیدم.
و پشتشو کرد و داشت می‌رفت... فکر کنم تحقیقات میدانیش جریحه‌دار شده بود.
صداش کردم و گفتم خانوم،(برگشت به طرفم)- آمار گیری اون نیست که بیای همه‌ش با همفکرای خودت مصاحبه کنی. من از اولش دیدم یه عالمه پسر دختر دانشجو و خانوم و آقای با ظاهر غیرمذهبی از جلوت رد شدن با یکیشون مصاحبه نکردی، فقط با هم‌تیپای خودتو صدا کردی. یه طرفه می‌ری قاضی و راضی برمیگردی.
بعدا می‌گید آمار گرفتیم 80 درصد مردم تو انتخابات شرکت می‌کنن. و بعد انتظار دارید بگیم تقلب نشده؟ همین مصاحبه شما با افراد شبیه به خودتون مصداق بارز تقلب در آماره...
پشت چشمی نازک کرد و یه خداحافظی کوچولو کرد و رفت.
حیف من میام با اینا مصاحبه می‌کنم والا...

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